I am a fern

In 2003 my husband and I took and amazing trip to Washington state. We had been to England & Ireland the year before. Even though we were in Ireland during the rainy season, there hadn't been much rain and it wasn't green like I expected it to be. Washington was every bit as green as I thought Ireland was going to be.

We spent a couple of days in Seattle, then headed for the Olympic Peninsula. It. was. gorgeous. Not only were the shades of green amazing, but the lichen, the plant and the flowers were amazing.

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Something I kept noticing were the ferns. Have you ever really looked at a fern as it grows? I've work in Aveda salons for well over a decade and would see it all the time. A tiny shoot comes out of the ground. All the leaves are curled in and the stem is wound like a pinwheel.

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It's only when the fern grows that the pinwheel unwinds and the leaves begin to uncurl. It grows and grows until not only is it open, it's bent over backwards basking in the warmth of sun.

I am like that fern, all curled into myself. Not only do I hang on tight to the things in life, I bring it into myself and curl my grip around it.

Surrender it to me. I hear the Lord say. Instead of releasing my grip, I hold on tighter, curl in tighter.

In the last nine years since my mom lost her battle with cancer, I have seen noticeable growth. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bent over backwards, basking in the presence of the Lord, BUT

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I am uncurling.

          I am loosening my grip.

                    I'm am choosing to surrender.